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" I say. "Do you?"They both look embarrassed. "What? Haven't you sucked each others cocks yet?" No." The older looking one says, surprised by my suggestion. When I turn to the second lad I see that he wants to but is more sub than his friend."Would you suck your friends cock?" I ask him. He looks at his friend seeking guidance but I see that I am not on safe ground there and will cause lasting damage to their friendship. "What about my cock? Would you suck that?"He looks down at it and then at his friend! It suddenly dawns on the friend that he wants to and the friend comes to and becomes interested! "Do you want to James?" He asks. James looks from him to my cock and back. His tongue shows a tiny bit and licks dry lips. The friend grins suddenly, wanting him to do it. So James grabs my cock and starts sucking avidly. I urge him to slow down and take his time. Relax, I beg him. The older lad watches for a moment and then elbows him out of the way and shows him how it should be done!!. But the moment had passed. It would sound stupid, now. Out of place. I was also afraid to say it. Jazz kept telling me that she wasn’t ‘girlfriend material’, or that she wouldn’t make a good long term girlfriend. Was that her way of trying to keep me at a distance? Yet we had done everything a couple would do – physically, socially, intellectually – all that was missing was the verbal expression of an emotional commitment. Maybe there was some way that I could express to her how I felt – to tell her that I loved her – without putting her on the spot. I didn’t want her to feel as if she had to answer in kind. She punched me in the arm. ‘Pay the man!’ she said. ‘I’m getting lunch.’ As we walked out of the store, Jazz asked me ‘Where do you go, Dean? When you start thinking, it’s like your consciousness shifts to another place. You get that thousand-yard stare, and you don’t seem to hear anything, either.’ – ‘I don’t know.’ I admitted. ‘Been that way since I was a kid. Les calls it.
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